She Made Me a Mama

Yesterday my daughter turned 23! Having an adult child has been so difficult for me because selfishly I was so used to having her with me all the time that when it came time for her to fly the coop I was devastated! Proud as fuck, but honestly traumatized! I cried the entire weekend we spent dropping her off at college and for extra fun, the entire drive home which was a long, silent drive for my poor husband! And I've struggled ever since. I just have such a hard time not being with her on every birthday, holiday and special event. Not that we aren't together sometimes for these things but I definitely took for granted being able to spend all these events together when she was younger and lived at home.

Yesterday, though, I started thinking about how it must have felt for my daughter. Leaving home, moving into a dorm room with a stranger in a strange town, starting college. Yikes! And not having your mom with you for all the little and big things going on in your life. Hugging your mom whenever you wanted. Coming home to your mom on a bad day and ordering Uber Eats to ease the pain. Was it scary? She wouldn't have told me because I know she was protecting me since I was being such a big baby. Being the child of a single mom she had to protect me often. She grew up fast and gained her independence at a young age. I think she was 9 when she started getting up before me to make my espresso so I would be ready and get her to school on time. My sister showed her how to do laundry about the same time so whatever outfits she planned on wearing were clean and ready. Did I mention how fashion forward she is?! It's one of the billion things I love about her! None of this is to say that I was an absent parent, I was just doing my best and trying to make the perfect life for her. Sounds so cliche but so is the term single mom, right?

Anyways, this amazing human has always thrived and I get to be the proud mama! She's the best gift I've ever received. She's the reason I get up every morning. I love her from a distance and when we're together I enjoy every second so I don't take those moments for granted. So I am beyond excited to crash her friend birthday adventure next week in Seattle and belatedly celebrate her birthday! Without being a big cry baby about it!

Thanks for the read! :-)